


if you love me (don't let go)

by ignitethestars



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10824213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignitethestars/pseuds/ignitethestars
Summary: Daisy breaks some news to Jemma about Fitz.





	if you love me (don't let go)

**Author's Note:**

> To quote Chandler from Friends...if I'm going down, I'm dragging everyone else down with me. 
> 
> Warnings: references to the "bad" scene from 4x20 between framework!Fitz and Jemma.

“Simmons, have you talked to Fitz lately?” Daisy asks quietly as Davis exits the office (Daisy’s office, now). 

 

Jemma thinks of the nights she'd spent on her side of the bed, huddled toward the edge, unable to stop herself from dreaming of a steel factory and the cold feeling of a gun pressed to the top of her head. She thinks of how Fitz sneaks off in the middle of the night, never to return, and how she finds him asleep in the lounge in the early morning hours. In between her busy schedule and his reclusiveness, there hadn’t been a chance to talk.

 

“No,” Jemma says in a quick breath, wanting to get this over as quick as possible. “Why?”

 

Daisy immediately averts her gaze and sits down in her chair with a small “ _ Shit.” _

 

Fear floods through Jemma, as sharp and painful as a knife to the leg. In the presence of anyone else, she might try to mask her fear, might try to keep the shakiness out of her voice, but not with Daisy. 

 

“Daisy...Daisy, what’s going on?”

 

After what feels like an age, Daisy finally drags her eyes up to meet Jemma’s, and the latter’s heart falls to the floor when she sees tears in the Director’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

She hightails it to their room, knocking over more than one person in her haste. When she braces through the door, she rams right into him, making him stumble backwards. She starts to fall with him, but he quickly regains his balance and instantly reaches out to steady her. 

 

“Jemma,” Fitz breathes with the sound of someone who was hoping to avoid this very thing. He wouldn’t though, Jemma knows he wouldn’t. 

 

“Daisy-” Jemma breaks off, unable to repeat the news Daisy had gently given her. It takes all Jemma has not to sob when she finally gathers the courage to repeat it, “Y-you’re leaving?”

 

The duffel bag in Fitz’s hand drops to the floor with a loud  _ thud. _ “I was going to tell you…” he groans, withdraws his hands from her arms and begins to pace the length of the room. “I just told Daisy, because…”

 

“Because she understands.” Jemma mutters weakly, feeling as though her entire world is crumbling down around her. “But Fitz...you were so  _ angry _ for her leaving-”

 

“I know,” Fitz says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I was an arse for that, but...but maybe she had the right idea.”

 

“Fitz…”

 

“Daisy left to protect us, because she thought everything that happened was on her. It wasn’t though, of course. But the Framework? A.I.D.A? That’s on me, Jemma.” Fitz stops walking, suddenly becoming rooted to the middle of the room. The distance between them feels like a chasm.

 

“Fitz, it’s not! You might have been instrumental in their creation, but you created them from the goodness of your heart-” Jemma argues, taking a step forward, desperate for Fitz to see how wrong he is. To get him to understand that she can’t lose him again.

 

“Tony Stark and Bruce Banner created Ultron to be a peacekeeper. Look how well that turned out.” Fitz laughs but there’s no humor in it, “And don’t get me started on the things I did in the Framework.”

 

“That wasn’t you-”

 

“It was, Jemma! I wanted to do those things! It felt...it felt  _ right _ . I ordered the airstrike that killed Mace, I killed Agnes, I tortured Daisy...and the one person I can’t live without, I almost killed. I shot you, Jemma. I won’t ever forgive myself for that.” Fitz exclaims. 

 

“So...this is it, then? You leave S.H.I.E.L.D, the team…” Jemma lets out a choked sob, “me?”

 

“If it keeps you safe...then yes. You deserve to be with someone who hasn’t tried to kill you, Jemma. You deserve someone a hell of a lot better than me.” Fitz says quietly, looking down at the ground.

 

Jemma opens her mouth to reply but no words come. It feels like there’s a fist made of clay in her throat, and her eyes are blurred from the tears that are threatening to fall.  _ This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening... _

 

Fitz walks to her and gives her a small, watery smile. “I love you, Jemma Anne Simmons.” He leans forward and kisses her softly on the forehead before pulling away with a tight smile. “Goodbye.”

 

With that, he picks up his duffle bag and heads to the door. Without thinking, Jemma whirls around and grabs his hand. He stops to turn to face her and she closes the distance between them, pressing her lips to his in a fast kiss, trying to emphasize all the things she can’t say right now with this simple gesture.

 

When she finally pulls away, he stares at her dazedly for a moment, then withdraws his hand from hers, which falls limply at her side. Fitz steps out of the door and it closes behind him with a soft  _ click _ .

 

And then the tears begin to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to scream at me in the comments, I deserve it. I'm a terrible person, really.


End file.
